That phone call just went in really deep into my emotional elephant memory. For about a year now I’ve been trying to get payed from a job that I worked at in Israel. I probably haven’t tried enough or reached the right person or called the right phone number. But the heavy load that came with it today, trying to reach them again and explain my situation, just confirmed how sensitive my past still can be.
I’m on my second day of my period as well. That counts. Note to myself: no potential heavy emotional triggers in this time…
While calling them, and hearing my favourite language all time, it’s as if I virtually transported myself to Even Yehuda, Israel, and felt and remembered that whole summer after the break-up. The pain, the feeling lost, the loss.
Clouds appeared, fear of drowning, heaviness, and I lost my sense of anchor. As if I was sinking in quicksand and not knowing what to hold onto to get me out of the swamp.
Here and now, be here and now. I knew it. Somehow I needed to grab the present moment again. Here in my safe, warm and familiar environment in Antwerp, Belgium. Thank God it’s there.
Mayday – before the sand reaches my neck – I get a hold of Sharath. My friend from Bangalore, on video call, always with the right words in the right time. “What happened?”, he says as soon as he sees me. I don’t know how he can tell, I believe he’s got a great sixth sense. He seems to be in some kind of supermarket, so I tell him I can call him back later, as I’ve been educated to be polite. He’s not letting go and asking me again to tell him what happened.
So I tell him. And he replies. And actually, it doesn’t really matter what is said. He is there for me and that’s what matters. We talk shortly. I slowly get my focus back. And he says: “E + R = O”. Emotion + Response = Outcome. It’s how you react to your emotion, that will lead to either a positive or negative outcome.
True that. Animals get into an incident and shake it off. Some, like me, get into an incident, express it, share it or write it off.
Now my best advice would be this one: at all costs, avoid quicksand.
But if you somehow do stumble in once in a while, then ask yourself: what is your first aid equipment? What are the things that help you in your moments of trial? I could share a whole list of them: an open-hearted talk with a good friend, a hug, a massage, a swim, nature-time, music… Number one has always been the most effective though.
Looking backwards, I am so grateful for this friendship. He never lets go and will always help me share, listen, and soothe with words.
Yes, some days can be challenging. But then again, what makes it all worth it are meeting those special people like him. So it is my pleasure to share this diamond with the world. Meet Sharath, not a random Bangalorean. https://therandombangalorean.wordpress.com/