When I created this blog in April 2019, I was staying in Auroville, India. At that time I called it “onthebackofmydragon.com”. It was the perfect name, considering I was travelling near and far and that it just sounded… really cool.
Flying on his back, my dragon brought strength and magic to my journey. A rich adventure, and mostly, a story of learning to tame my own inner dragon, conquering my fears and wildly enjoying the flight.
Yet I could not be at peace. My inner struggle was undeniably real and it was already taking long years to heal.
Today I am quarantined, like most of us. It allows me to stand still, listen within, and be more present with myself. A key part of this journey to inner peace. As well as understanding this: there is no such thing as being happy all the time. Light and darkness coexist. At least in this world, for now. There will always be contrast, in the words of Abraham Hicks. Life happens. Waves come and go. Yin and yang. “Down the rabbit hole”. I cannot control life, but…
I can be “the captain of my soul”.
Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
for my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
my head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
looms but the horror of the shade,
and yet the menace of the years
finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
how charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
A poem by William Ernest Henley’s, written in 1875, called “invictus” – unconquerable, hanging in the bedroom of my 20-something-year-old-me, and recently discovered it was also Nelson Mandela’s favorite poem, keeping his spirit alive while in prison.
Darkness and light are part of the deal if you chose to be born here… Did we really? Did we choose? That’s what they say… Your soul jumped, eager to fulfill its life’s purpose.
Anyway…
We may walk around our whole life with visits from fear or loneliness or sadness… But we can choose to nurture ever-growing Faith and Light and Love and Gratitude to surround us in a warm embrace.
That’s how the white wolf wins. Feeding him to get stronger than ever before. That’s how we are the Captain of our Soul.